Diary of an Accidental Taper, or,
Why I Did Not Ride My Bike for the Week Preceding THE BIG RACE1:
Monday:
Stiff from a first attempt at skiing. Evidently there is a reason most people learn how to do this when they are two feet tall and blissfully careless of gravity.
Tuesday:
Eh, it's sort of raining.
Wednesday:
Up too late last night chattering at my long-lost roommates, whose return I confess to greeting with all the dignity of a home-alone Labrador puppy2. How I ever lived in a studio I do not know.
Thursday:
Emergency rooms are tricky: Either you will never get in or you will never get out. The triage interview had the makings of a bad SNL skit ("Did you swallow the nuts in the sausage?"); the attending doctor found me annoying even before I started citing things I've found on PubMed. But, but ... !
Friday:
I escaped the unimpressed MD by agreeing to take a ton of drugs. Error! In that I am not hallucinating frog-men it's not so bad as all those painkillers, nonetheless, I'm about to find out what happens when I try to race cross on a foundation of total inactivity and a liquid-only, 300-calorie-a-day diet3. Oh yeah, SoCal, bring it ON.
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1. We are promised marching bands, a flyover, and a course routed directly through the beer garden. Which makes sense, really, because you've got to go pretty big to get people to friggin' Bakersfield.
2. Not quite this bad. Potential tearjerker, fair warning, right up there with "Letter from Home". Yeah, warmonger that.
3. Actually, pretty sure I've heard this one before. Ah, balls.
2 comments:
yikes, ER, heal thyself!
Did you go to SF General or Stanford? ERs are an interesting lens through which to view the different layers of society:
- At County hospitals, at least 90% of people have a gun/knife wound, are motorcyclists, or drunk(1).
- At private academic hospitals, at least 90% have soccer jerseys on, kits on, or is a drunk(1).
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(1) the former wearing disheveled clothing, the latter wearing Uggs and short shorts with the requisite college name silkscreened on the behind.
+100 for footnoting your comment. :D
I was at good old Alta Bates in Berkeley -- newly remodeled! Last time I was there it was a trailer, so that was nice. I've been to Stanford a few times ... like I said, drunk people and adorable trainee doctors. Speaking of which -- how's school these days?
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