on the big blue wet thing

For reference, the original text of the list item reads,

I've actually been on a sailboat once, as a very passive passenger; I remember only being alarmed by the proximity of my face to the bay. A "try" adequate to fulfill this goal must entail a) tying some sort of knot, and b) correctly using at least ten jaunty nautical terms. Also, I may not quote T-Pain more than once. Twice. Three times, three times, max!

Recycled from the mists of time/Emeryville, circa 2006.
It was a similar sort of day.

Got this one done courtesy my charmingly nautical roommate Philippe, who bops around the Berkeley marina in a found Kenny Chesney hat looking windblown and competent₁. I tied and then promptly forgot how to tie a cleat hitch and a trucker's hitch; I learned my ten words:

1. Mainsail: Even on a tiny boat, this looks very large—especially when you envision it falling on you.
2. Jib: Not to be confused with
3. Jibe: I don't actually understand this process, but I know that when someone calls “Jibe-ho!” I picture a Bollywood dance₂ taking place on the
4. Gunwale: It’s fun to lean off this until the waves touch your shoulders. Then you can freak out, lurch forward, and unbalance everybody else.
5. Boom: The thing that hits you in the head; also, somewhat unnervingly, Philippe’s general exclamation for “done!”
6. Tiller: I pretended to operate this for the approximately 15 seconds before it became clear I was going to dump all parties involved in the drink.
7. Sheet: Tim does not like to get smacked with this.
8. Tack: The most fun part!
9. Centerboard: Philippe rescued two guys who had capsized by telling one to climb on this. "But it hurts," he replied. So will ... drowning?
10. Luffing: My favorite. As in, “Avast, matey, the jib be luffing!

Debrief:

• Fast. Way faster than I expected. Weeee!
• Should replace the scuba list item with windsurfing, which I now imagine to be like sailing without the complication of ropes (sorry, lines) or things that could conceivably crush me. More probable than a tropical vacation.
• Hail the bay, dappled, winking waves, smile of a span a silhouette on summer, gauzy blue. And when the water bobs to lap at the horizon I am closer to the center, though I couldn't start to say center of what.
• Still one of the greatest songs ever:

________________________________________
1. Do all my friends master complicated outdoor pursuits and then charitably take me on field trips? Many, or at least, more than I deserve.
2. My father posted this to Facebook with the comment, "White dudes, Punjabi music and Marijuana ..... here is the result!!"